Resolution

I solved the jealousy issue.

I said good-bye.

I went to see him at work yesterday to apologize.  He accepted and asked if we were still friends. What came out of my mouth was completely unexpected, even to me.  "Ummmm... We will be friends in the sense that you will be someone I think well of and will pray for, but we won't be talking to each other anymore."  I had not planned to say that.  In fact, I never expected to have him ask the question.

You should have seen the look on his face.  He was truly upset by this.  I wasn't angry as I gave him my reasons why.  I was worth more than this and I refuse to go back into the darkness.

Just as I'm walking out, his son came in.  I took the opportunity to say good-bye to him too.  I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and his sister and what a gift I thought they were.  I know I shocked the poor kid right down to his socks, but I couldn't not say good-bye and this would be my only opportunity. Then it was all I could do to walk out of the store calmly because my heart was about to break in two.  I love them with my whole heart.

Later, curiosity got the better of me and I asked Sean in a text why he looked so upset when I gave him the news.  He didn't have a straight answer for me but he admitted to being upset.  We talked for a long time on the phone and resolved a lot of things.  He wants to continue on the path he's on.  We eventually said good-bye one last time and hung up.  I asked him to delete me from his phone and I did the same.

Redheads, as I said in my first blog, life is about living out loud. This relationship did not work out the way I had hoped, but the thing is that I enjoyed it while it was in progress.  I took a chance.  I had some really good experiences and it didn't end on a bad note. Sean and I were really great friends before the romance and the other drama.  Who knows, we may rekindle that friendship someday.  No worries.  I have peace and am in a good place about this.

Next blog will be something better.