Redheads, my intuition saved me today. I woke up this morning and my first thought was "go surprise Sean." I was still smiling from a conversation we had yesterday, so my heart thought it would be a romantic adventure. (NOTE: heart and intuition are not the same). I had my coffee and went to get dressed, happy and full of positive energy with my heart leading the way.
As I got closer to his house, my intuition started sending me whispered signs to be cautious, but it didn't tell me to turn back. By the time I arrived, I knew I was in for a dose of truth. Sure enough, there was a car parked in the driveway. Now, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions, but I'm telling you, jealousy was popping out all over the place. That was my heart speaking, but my intuition only said, "What are you going to do about it?" I chose to drive back home to think instead of walking up to the front door and slapping his face. No, violence never solves anything. At home I simply sent him a text that said, "Came by your house at 11 to surprise you. Saw another car in the drive. I didn't stop."
I waited all day for a reply. You know as well as I do that silence is as good as a lie. My instincts didn't scream, but they wouldn't let the truth go either. I finally sent him another text, "I'm done! You are no longer welcome in my life." That got an immediate response with apologies that stank of guilt. I flat out asked him if I had anything to worry about and he said, "Yes." I thanked him for his honesty and told him good-bye. He kept ringing my phone until I answered again.... Now all of a sudden he wants to talk. Really???? What was there to talk about??? How bad he felt for lying? Who was that going to help? Certainly not me. I never gave him a chance to explain. (And let me tell you, furious is not a big enough word to describe how I felt.) I told him that I didn't play doubles and I don't take second place. His choices were his choices and he could have her, I was out.
Truth, how do I feel? I'm hurt, no doubt, because I feel played. But I'm so glad I learned the truth and had the strength to decide my own value instead of letting someone else make me feel like I was unworthy of them. I'm also grateful that I can recognize and accept truth no matter how much it hurts.
No worries, this is going to hurt for awhile. That's normal. But I certainly won't die from this.
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