Did You Really Just Say That to Me???

Redheads, I'm telling ya that somedays other peoples negativity can be a real challenge.


Recently, I took my friend, Claudio, to the Harley Dealer so he could get more information on a bike he was interested in.  I was excited for him but I wasn't looking forward to going into the store because I was there two weeks prior and my bike had a great big "SOLD!!!" sign on it.  Yeah, I was pretty heartbroken at the news.  I love that bike.  But as I walked through the showroom with my friend, what should I spy but MY BIKE.  Holy crap it was still there!!!! A called Claudio over to see, all the while jumping up and down like a kid at Christmas

Just then, a man walked by me and made a statement implying that perhaps I should start with something a little smaller.  Oh yeah, you can imagine what went through my head at that moment.  My green eyes flashed fire and I was about to educate him on the dangers of assuming. He had absolutely no idea that I had driven a motorcycle from California to West Virginia all by my self at the age of 19.  I was torqued that he should assume I was a novice. But before I could open my mouth, Claudio, came to my rescue -or maybe he sensed what was about to happen and rescued the guy. At any rate, he set the guy straight.  Nothing left for me to say.  I just threw my leg over the bike and settled into the saddle like I owned it. Then flashed my adversary my best smile.

As you can see, it's still on my mind. So let's talk about it.  Negativity from others is all around us.  It can be a real dream killer.  What makes people act that way? What can you do about it?

I found my best advise in handling negative people in the book The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. He called them border bullies.  He was talking about people that you encounter when you are on the verge of your Big Dream that try to persuade you against pursuing your Big Dream or try to stop you out right.

According to Wilkinson, negative people come in many forms.  Some of your bullies will be strangers and some will be folks you know. Some will be enemies, but much of your opposition may come from your friends and family. Yes, the people you love and respect most may stand against you.

These people show up because you have threatened or at the very least shaken up their comfort zones.  They are threatened because you have disturbed their security or they are just afraid to lose you.

Wilkinson notes 4 types of bullies:
1. The alarmist will tell you how risky your Big Dream is.

2. The traditionalist pops up when you threaten a safe routine or tradition.  Change is very hard for these individuals.

3.  The defeatist says it's not possible.

4.  The antagonist rears it's head out of fear of losing money or control.  They may also simply dislike you or what you're trying to do and therefore will use authority or intimidation to try and stop you.

Here's the thing, each of these bullies presents something to consider.  Wilkinson suggests that we listen to their concerns carefully.  Are they against you personally or your dream? Ask questions and find out why they are concerned.  If a loved one is a bully, address these concerns and make sure you have communicated your dreams and plans so that they understand.  Also, use the concern to review your plan and see if you need to tweak it some way.

My bully was an alarmist.  He looked at me in my summer capris and sandals and assumed I was inexperienced.  I was offended.  However when I cooled off, I realized he had voiced a whisper of my own concern.  In truth, I have not been on a bike in a very long time and although the bike is my dream, an updated safety course and some practice would be beneficial before I took a beast with a 1670 cc engine out on the road - especially in the D.C. area where highway traffic is a nightmare.  Prior to my encounter with this stranger, I had even toyed with the idea of getting a cheaper (but not too much smaller bike) to refresh my skills on.  My logic is that I won't mind dropping a used (non Harley). I would be heart broken if I scratched that beautiful red paint on RED HAWK.