How to Slay a Dragon

I loved this article!!

Forbes article: Intelligence Is Overrated- What You Really Need To Succeed


Isn't it nice to be able take one obstacle out of your head?  You don't have be Einstein to be a success.  And although mental intelligence is something you are born with it is NOT the only tool in your toolbox and that the other three forms of intellegence EQ, MQ, and BQ are all things within your control.

Y'know, what the article doesn't tell you is that this equates to a lot of personal power.  Have you thought about what you could do if you harness it?

As the article said, emotional and moral intelligence are very closely related.  In fact, you will use the two in concert to point where you can't tell the difference between them.  Let's look at how specifically improving emotional and moral intelligences can benefit you.

It is absolutely possible to chose the emotions you want to have in a situation.  I'm not talking about denial or repressing your feelings.  All emotions need to be expressed.  However, sometimes, how we express something may not be appropriate or beneficial to the situation.  For example, my last blog is a perfect senario of what I'm talking about.

When I got the news that they were rejecting my proposal I was livid.  My dream was in jeopardy.

What would your initial reaction have been in this situation?  

 I was angry that someone couldn't see how important it was to me.  I was confused that someone couldn't see the value my idea could create for the company.  And if I'm really honest, I was just plan hurt.  There were lots of things I wanted say to release all those feelings, however, in this case what would anger have gotten me.  Truth??? It would have nailed the coffin shut on my dream.  On the other hand what would I have gained by giving up?  I'd have killed my own dream.  In this case, I had the choice of expressing the anger in an uncontrolled explosion (Mind you, I will admit that losing my redheaded temper would have felt really good) or channeling all that redheaded power into a laser focus to create the driving force for me to find a workable solution to fight for my dream.

Which option would you chose?  


How would you want to go about it?


For me, the solution was to stop and think about where the other person was coming from.  First thing to realize is that each person has their own internal dialog and set of life experiences.  The big question repeating in my head was why didn't they ask any questions to clarify what I intended in the proposal before shooting it down.  One possible answer is that they were afraid to appear ignorant in front me.  This is where moral intelligence came in for me because now I could empathize with them and forgive them for their response.  After all, they are very intelligent, successful business people and my idea is really new and radical.  They didn't have any experience with exactly what a life coach was, nor could they see how I could benefit them.  They simply needed more facts but were afraid to ask.  If I had gone in their with guns blazing, I would have alienated the people I was trying to impress and lost credibility with them.

 My solution was to acknowledge that I was taking them out of their comfort zone and they simply needed more information to feel safe and in control of their own destiny.  I chose to channel my anger to push myself into action, over come my own fear,  and take the initiative to create the opportunity to give them those answers and stand up for my dream.  Result - They have agreed to continue considering my proposal and hopefully set up a meeting to answer questions.

The use of strong emotional and moral intelligence can create solutions and a win-win for both parties.


How could you tweak your solution to create a situation where both parties gain something? 


Did you know that a large part of what I do as a coach is to show you how to harness and focus the emotional and moral intelligences you already have?

Inspired Action (update)

So here's what's happened.  I went to the open house at the dealership afterwork on Saturday.  I wasn't there 10 minutes when the manager of the Business Development Department came up to me with a smile and shook my hand.  He says, "Your proposal showed up on my desk with a note from the owner saying, 'read this and let's talk about it.'" Then he took me over to the owner and introduced me....

That's it so far.  They were scheduled to talk about it at their weekly meeting and that was yesterday.  No word yet... still hanging on to faith.

But other cool things happened as a result of showing up on Saturday.  I wound up getting invited to a biker party that night.  I met lots of cool people and had a great time while I was there.  I made some contacts that are considering hiring me and scored an invitation to dinner tonight with someone I'm extremely curious about.

I'd say things are beginning to manifest very nicely.