It's Good to be the Redhead

Do you know what my secret passion is?

 I love riding motorcycles.  I don’t ride on the back, I have to be the one driving. 

My first time on a bike was shortly after I finished boot camp and got to my language school in Monterey, California.  Now I want to tell you that the Navy was a very cool place for a girl to be back then.  The male to female ratio was 8 guys to every girl.  No joke!! I had just spent 8 weeks in an environment that many pay big money to attend to get in shape.  I was hot! (At least in my own mind) And I was literally surrounded by men. 

There are a few people that still stand out as special in my memory from back then and one of them was my friend Bumpus.  (Just a nickname someone gave him at some point in his life that stuck) I thought the world of him.  He was about 6’ 3” and built like a line backer and hailed from Texas.  He was a natural redhead with a personality to match.  Oh, he used to tell the best stories and made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe.  He was unique from his choice of the language he would master at school to his choice of music. Anyway, he was the perfect friend for a redhead in training.

One evening, we were hanging out and were kind of bored so he asked if I wanted to go for a motorcycle ride.  I’d never been on one and at first, I thought about refusing.  But the redhead spoke before I could and I found myself accepting a new adventure.  So I rushed to my room to get ready.  It was January or February but winters are very mild in Monterey so a ride wasn’t going to be dangerous, but it would still be cold with the wind whipping around us as we rode so I put on boots, jeans and a sweater and grabbed my big winter coat and headed back to meet my friend.   As I walked down the hall of the dorm-like barracks I passed the quarter deck and the Officer of the Day (another friend of mine) asked where I was going so I told him.  “Not in that coat your not,” he said.

My eyes flashed rebellion and asked him why not.  It was cold out and this was the warmest thing I had. I knew this man rode the biggest Harley on the base and he was a Navy Seal to boot so I was asking myself why was he trying to spoil my adventure?  His look softened and he explained. “Tammy, if you get in an accident that quilted coat will be nothing more than tissue paper on asphalt and you could be seriously hurt.” That got my attention.  I hadn’t thought of that logic. “Wait right here,” he said and disappeared into the room where the Officer of the Day slept and came back a minute later with his own leather, biker coat.

Ok at that moment I was totally hot all decked out like a real biker. 

Bump joined me about that time and we left.  Outside, he gave me pointers on how to be a passenger so that I wouldn’t counter balance him and throw us both off the bike.  He threw his leg over the bike and settled into the saddle and I awkwardly (but trying to be cool) climbed on behind him.  He pressed the button on the ignition and the animal roared to life between my legs.  I was hooked at that very moment. 

The whole ride was exhilarating.  I was sure that this is what birds felt like when they flew.  We finally stopped for a while on Asilomar Beach and I got to enjoy seeing the ocean for the second time in my life. 

We went for regular rides after that and it wasn’t very long before I bought my first bike.  A 200cc Honda.  It was the ugliest shade of green you ever laid eyes on and sounded just like a lawn mower which by the way could go faster than my bike. Top speed with the throttle opened full out was 75 mph. Bumpus dubbed it the Lawn Boy and proudly taught me to ride.  But I’ll tell you what. I thought I was oh so cool. That bike was my pride and joy at least for a while because It wasn’t too long before I got the itch for a real bike and bought a brand new 700cc 1986 Yamaha Virago. (Yes that's her in the picture.)

Some time later, Bump and I were talking and out of the blue he says, “Tammy, the man that finally tames you is going to be really lucky.”  That was the nicest compliment I had ever had up to that point.  He saw me as wild and untamed.  To him I was adventurous and fun.  He had no idea who I was just  a year before. 

The Five People You Spend the Most Time With

I was once told, "You become like the five people you spend the most time with."  Think about that for a moment...

Who are your top five?
How does being with them make you feel?  Empowered? or Drained?
What do you talk about?
Have they accomplished or are currently working on their dreams?
How do they treat others outside your group? Do they back stab and gossip or do they try to uplift others?
What is their personal code of ethics?
Do they whine and moan about all the bad things in their lives or do they roll up their sleeves and start making changes?

My next question is...
How do YOU act when you are among them?
Do you let your own unique light shine or do you tune your energy to theirs in order to fit in?

Redheads, we have huge energy potential. It comes with our dynamic personalities. It can be positive or negative. You must choose which one it will be.  Now, you all know part of my story. I was born to be a redhead, but you also know that I had to work to own it.  Here is a secret. Did you know that anyone can decide to be a redhead. Let me say that again...

ANYONE CAN DECIDE TO BE A REDHEAD!!!

Yes, it's true.  It's all in the energy you put out.  And the first step is to surround yourself with people who truly care about you. The ones who lift you up and encourage your dreams.  The ones who do instead of talk.  These people come from a place of love not just for you but for people in general.  They are not saints but they get up everyday and try to do their best and try to find the blessing or lesson in the worst of circumstances.

When you spend time with people you begin to synchronize to their energy and they to yours.  That energy can either propel you forward or hold you like quicksand.  Which would you prefer?  If you find that you need to start changing the energy of your group then start with the intention to meet new people.  Talk to people who come into your path.  Even if you only talk to them one time, notice how they made you feel.  Learn from it.  Emulate the ones with whom you felt good being around and avoid those that make you feel heavy, or drained.

One of my early examples was a friend of mine in Italy named Rosie.  She was a beautiful woman about my age with raven black hair and sky blue eyes. She always reminded me of Snow White. She and I spent a fair amount of time together and one day she asked me to go to the beach with her and her two daughters.  It was early in the season so even though the air was warm, the water was still pretty cold.  That didn't stop the two young girls.  They stripped down to their bathing suites and ran straight for the water without hesitating and jumped right in.  They called to Rosie and me to watch as they played like mermaids in the frigid water.  Jokingly, I called back. "You're crazy!!" Rosie yelled, "How brave you are!!"  I looked at the woman who sat beside me feeling ashamed.  I realized in that moment, that even though I was joking, the comment was basically still full of negativity.  Her comment lifted her children up and would encourage them not only in this instance but also in the next one that might be a little challenging.  I have never used that phrase since and it also made me start noticing how negativity crept into my life.

Never EVER Doubt Your Intuition

Redheads, my intuition saved me today.  I woke up this morning and my first thought was "go surprise Sean."  I was still smiling from a conversation we had yesterday, so my heart thought it would be a romantic adventure.  (NOTE: heart and intuition are not the same). I had my coffee and went to get dressed, happy and full of positive energy with my heart leading the way.

As I got closer to his house, my intuition started sending me whispered signs to be cautious, but it didn't tell me to turn back. By the time I arrived, I knew I was in for a dose of truth. Sure enough, there was a car parked in the driveway.  Now, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions, but I'm telling you, jealousy was popping out all over the place.  That was my heart speaking, but my intuition only said, "What are you going to do about it?"  I chose to drive back home to think instead of walking up to the front door and slapping his face.  No, violence never solves anything.  At home I simply sent him a text that said, "Came by your house at 11 to surprise you. Saw another car in the drive. I didn't stop."

I waited all day for a reply.  You know as well as I do that silence is as good as a lie.  My instincts didn't scream, but they wouldn't let the truth go either.  I finally sent him another text, "I'm done! You are no longer welcome in my life." That got an immediate response with apologies that stank of guilt.  I flat out asked him if I had anything to worry about and he said, "Yes." I thanked him for his honesty and told him good-bye.  He kept ringing my phone until I answered again.... Now all of a sudden he wants to talk.  Really???? What was there to talk about??? How bad he felt for lying? Who was that going to help? Certainly not me. I never gave him a chance to explain.  (And let me tell you, furious is not a big enough word to describe how I felt.) I told him that I didn't play doubles and I don't take second place.  His choices were his choices and he could have her, I was out.

Truth, how do I feel?  I'm hurt, no doubt, because I feel played.  But I'm so glad I learned the truth and had the strength to decide my own value instead of letting someone else make me feel like I was unworthy of them.  I'm also grateful that I can recognize and accept truth no matter how much it hurts.

No worries, this is going to hurt for awhile. That's normal.  But I certainly won't die from this.

BLOG EXTRA - God Truly Loves a Redhead

            Seriously, God loves his redheaded children.  There are so many good things about us such as strength, courage, adventurous hearts, passion and even the ability to fight for a good cause.  God also loves us because there is so much for us to learn too. With all the dynamic facets of our personalities there are areas that we struggle with as well.  And the struggle for us is never easy and I'm sure we try God's infinite patience on a regular basis.  Am I right?

           I can't speak for you, but for me personally, I am currently struggling with pride and stubbornness.  As I've told you before, both traits are legendary in me.  Well, evidently God has reached the end of his patience with me because here was the conviction I received this morning and let me tell you, a lightning strike would have been less painful.  (Yeah, I know, this won't be the last time lightning has to strike before I get this either.)

This is from one of my favorite spiritual speakers, Joyce Meyer.  Let me know how it resonates with you.

Humbling Yourself Under the Mighty Hand of God

Owning the Redhead!!!

            As I told you, as a kid I spent most of my energy being a mirror for what I thought people would accept me for.   It means that I analyzed every situation, afraid to let a really dynamic personality show through.  The only part of me that I felt was acceptable was my brain.  So, of course, I excelled at school.  I rarely ever laughed out loud because I didn’t know what was acceptable to laugh at.  Many times I never expressed an opinion outside my intimate circle because I didn’t know if anyone else might share it.  Making friends was a real chore because I felt I had to be a chameleon  ALL the time. I even passed up many opportunities to do something that I thought was interesting because I didn’t think it was acceptable.  I was so busy trying to fit in that I completely forgot who I was made to be.

When the redhead did come out it was usually when I felt like my back was against the wall, then it exploded with flashes of temper and stubbornness. (And both were legendary let me tell you) I was often bossy and dictatorial to my younger sister.  And then I was reprimanded for being myself.  Since I was never asked my opinion, when I tried to make myself heard, it was usually by what my parents termed as sass or mouthing off. (Plenty of that too.) Yes, I was a highly negative personality back then.  But wouldn’t you be too if you always felt like you were playing a part?

When I was in my senior year of high school, I decided that I would join the Navy in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a linguist and started the enlistment process. When I signed my enlistment contract I was only 17 and my parents had to give their consent for me to join.  By the time I graduated high school, I had a departure date for boot camp and guaranteed orders to the Defense Language Institute immediately following.  I left for boot camp just six weeks after my 18^th birthday.

Holy cow you talk about scared to death.  The day I left for boot camp was the very first day I encountered the strength of the redhead in me.  She saved my life I think, because without her, I never would have made it through.   In the midst of my quaking fear over what I had done, she bubbled up all excited and happy about finally getting to have a real adventure that no one else I knew had ever had.  It was definitely exciting,  This was my very first grown up decision and I was really proud of it, in spite of my fear.  And the adventure of that first day did not disappoint. 

I was up and out of the house before God that morning to catch a bus to the processing center in Baltimore.  I kissed my parents good-bye.  They both cried, which made me cry too but I got on that bus anyway.  As I mounted the few steps of the bus and found a seat I realized that my life would never be the same and for good or bad I could never go back.  The next thing on my agenda was my official swearing in.  As I lifted my hand to pledge my oath, I felt power surge through me and suddenly, the veil lifted, the redhead took control and I was my complete self.  What a feeling!!  I had done it!  I had defied everything that was expected of me or wished for me and followed my own heart.

I’m sure you can relate.  What instances in your life have you had when you felt that way?

The rest of the day was a blur of final paperwork and a lot of waiting.  Finally, very late in the evening, I was on plane to Orlando, Florida.  I’d never been on a plane before.  I fully expected to be terrified since I have a mortal fear of heights.  But the redhead surprised me again.  I loved flying, especially the moment when the wheels left the ground and we were airborne.  To this day, I still get a thrill at that moment. 

Arriving at the Recruit Training Center was very stressful.  It was late at night and me and the 40- 50 other girls who arrived with me were all tired and emotions were stretched thin.  We couldn’t just go to bed.  They herded us around for the longest time in great long lines to this area and that.  People shouting orders, picking up supplies, sorting out sleeping arrangements, etc.  This wasn’t the comfortable environment of home for any of us.  As we finally settled in our beds and the lights went out, fear set in for many of us (me included).  You could hear sniffling and quite crying throughout the large, open barracks compartment.  Even though I was afraid, my soul kept whispering, “It’s all part of the adventure. You can do this.”